TOUGH EMPATHY : WHY ANYONE SHOULD BE LED BY YOU ?
by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones
It begins with an understanding that leadership is for a purpose. There is some superordinate desired end state, which energizes the leader who in turn gives energy to followers. Effective leaders really care about this goal. They care enough to reveal their authentic selves.
The verb to “care” is significant here. In English, care is a soft word, but we all know, sometimes through bitter experience, that really caring is one of the hardest things we ever do. When we show what we care about, we become vulnerable. It is this vulnerability that entails personal risk. The capacity to do this means leaders are prepared to use their passions to stretch the performance of others and to challenge established organizational dogma. Inevitably, though, the outcomes are uncertain.
We label this kind of caring “tough empathy.” It means leaders never lose sight of what they are there to do. They give people what they need rather than what they want. They never forget the task and the purpose as well as the people.
Tough empathy goes far beyond the polite concern for the team that some managers express as they return fresh from their interpersonal skills program. It is an outcome of really caring that balances respect for the individual, the task at hand, and the shared higher purpose.It is confirmation that the leader is doing more than simply playing a role: he or she is living up to the obligations of the job.
What is it that drives individuals to take these kinds of personal risks? The drawing upon the distinction originally identified by James McGregor Burns between transactional and transformational leadership, Alistair Mant contrasted two modes of thought: the binary and the ternary. In the first, individuals are driven to control, dominance, or seduce others in the interests of personal survival. In the second, interpersonal power is regulated to some extent by a third corner — an idea, a purpose, or an institution that defines what life is about.
Their instinct is to ask not, “Shall I win?” but rather, “What’s it for?” Mant explained. “These people…make good leaders precisely because they are not badgered by threats to survival.From the vantage point, or vane of the “third corner” they can run personal risks in the pursuit of some higher purpose and observe themselves, as from a great height, in their own interpersonal relationships. They can, in short, see the joke, which means they are capable of thinking at two levels of abstraction at the same time.
At the end of the day great leaders are driven by an unbending sense of purpose and it is this that impels them to take personal risks. “You are there to serve a purpose. The boat isn’t there to get you round the world. You are there to get the boat round the world. It’s about stewardship.” And every employee and person in an organization is a leader with such a sense of purpose and care within their role and responsibility.
This is an excerpt from the book “Why Anyone Should be Led by You?” by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones. I added some of my thoughts at the end to reflect my takeaways but I hope this article inspires and motivates all the people to be a great leader in their roles a to enjoy every moment of their job and learn to smile and learn to improve every day to become a better reflection of ourselves for the future!!! Thank you.
